“Dad & the Wedding” Chapter 1
“Why don’t you have a treasure hunt?” he asked, sitting bolt upright, blinking delightedly.
“From the church! From the church to the venue, if you’re worried about people’s journeys there, just make it fun!”
“OK….” I reply, silently girding myself for the next part.
“SO! You could give them all a chart each and on their way over they have to collect certain things and cross them off to win directions to venue!! YES! So, things like a KFC wrapper, and a lolly-stick with a joke on it? A TUFT OF A TRAMP’S BEARD!!!!! It’d be amazing! And they would have to collect all things or they won’t get into the reception!”
This is what I’m dealing with.
Actually, no, correction, this is just one of the polar opposite sides Dad flings himself towards when dealing with the wedding. This one being the slightly giddy “I’ll-get-into-it-with-‘fun’-ideas-while-bouncing-around”-side.
The other side lends itself to the ‘Steve Martin, Father of The Bride Approach’. I’m tired already at the thought of trying to explain it. In the movie, it’s hilarious and light hearted and you know it’ll all be ok in the end; hilarious whoops of joy at the question of ‘ didn’t Great Uncle Harry die last year? YES! Good – one down on the guest list!’ are met with tongue in cheek LOL’s of understanding at the slightly inappropriate responses one can give when dealing with wedding planning.In real life, however, it’s a steady balancing act of keeping a constant eye out on the ledge he’s invariably teetering on whilst desperately fielding the planning of treasure hunts all over East London and not quite knowing where he’s going to land from one minute to the next.
“You’re having HOW MANY PEOPLE????” was one of the first moments where his collar started to look a little tight around his neck. “How do you even KNOW that many people – what have you and Ollie been DOING – have you LITERALLY invited your FaceBook directory????”
Emails for miles containing lists and ‘thoughts’, that used to be an every other day occurrence, are now coming in hard and fast on the hour, every hour. Whenever I see a subject header from Dad saying “The Wedding: Some Thoughts”, I make sure I’m set up with a big glass of wine and a 5mg Valium. I also immediately switch off my mobile phone so I can be sure to miss the call he’ll inevitably make to me 5 minutes after sending his message to ask “DID YOU GET MY EMAIL?”
Having left the calm safety of denial he has now thrown himself in completely and there’s no stopping him. We’re talking full immersion.
So much so I’ve had to spend a little bit of time playing catch up. The wedding is just over 6 weeks away and we probably only just started thinking about it properly a couple of weeks ago. I was always under the impression it was normal to start planning these buggers at least a year in advance, so when my instinct was telling me to find a venue and forget about it for a year, I started to feel a bit nervous something was wrong with me and maybe I was missing The Bride Gene.I realise now it’s not that I’m missing it, it’s that I have been frightened to unleash it. I am much more like my Mum than my Dad, but the one thing I have inherited from him is the obsessive need to execute a plan immediately after its conception. Don’t have an idea unless you can do something about it straight away otherwise (and I quote) “what is the POINT? There isn’t one! Meaningless!”
So there you have it. With less than 7 weeks to go, the planning has finally got underway and I’m actually starting to feel very excited because it’s no longer a far away date that we’re miles away from, it’s just around the corner and I can see it which is amazing and terrifying all at the same time!
I have a strong suspicion the material for this blog will be coming in giant waves and it will be writing itself once again.
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