The Wardrobe
I think Jem has been a little disappointed with my initial responses. Whereas she has been reporting every little piece of nonsense, and silly slip, I can only admit to it all being pretty much true, despite the generally dysfunctional behavior and inevitable senile comments.
“You have to make fun of me!” she said, “That’s the point!”
“I see”, I said, trying to understand, and desperately thinking of daft things she does that I can write about without a stomping fit.

I had for some time thought that Jem deciding on her stage clothes was achieved simply by her applying a light coating of glue to her body and then taking a brisk walk through the wardrobe. Whatever stuck to her was what she would wear that night.
In fact looking through the archives, I have found some shockers! And yet it was always me that felt a little insecure going into these so-called trendy clubs in the past. Now I don’t see why I should have worried. Certainly Jem doesn’t!
Judging by the latest ‘layers of adhesive’ we’re into some very interesting mixes. She herself spent some of our hopefully soon to be recouped expenses on an outfit for Germany that now she describes as “Terribly Mumsy!” And there’s me trying to be all hip and trendy in my all black attire, bouffed and coloured hair, converse shoes, and yes OK, bright tasteless socks.
But it strikes me that it doesn’t really matter any more. Scruffy is the new smart; torn the new whole, creased the newly pressed, and mismatched the new coordinated.
I do remember one previous tour I did, where the band, all 10 of us were given these dark grey suits from Gap and pale blue shirts from Primark to wear for an entire 7 months on the road. Needless to say we all looked like a bunch of accountants at a cheap convention and by the end, I had personally decided that enough was enough. The last gig was dutifully performed, and as I entered the dressing room for the final time, I literally ripped the jacket into several pieces while another member of the band set fire to my trousers. Torn and smoldering in the bin, the wardrobe lady then appeared and said we could keep the suits as a gift from the tour. Generous or what?
This all because the ‘main turn’ could look great in a designer Thierry MugIer creation.
Thankfully now we’re free from those silly days, and despite our mocking each other with what we will be wearing, it’s great to play, feel comfortable, be normal, appear accessible, and unfussy. Jem, you’re on the right track. Don’t take any notice of me…… But does that mean I can still wear the make up?