The Countdown to the day.It’s now less than three weeks to go before the Wedding day. What seemed like a leisurely several months has now been reduced to clearly countdownable days with lists, memos and E mails filling the ethernet. That’s what it’s like in my head anyway!
For the bride, groom and others involved, there seems to be a calmness that is unnerving.
The stag and hen events have happened without anyone being arrested or harmed, and only a short period afterwards of being told to ‘Stop shouting!’ as the event hangover was running its course. There was one picture of someone lying face down in the groom’s garden, appearing as if hed been shot out of a passing plane. That and the MOTB blaming huge amounts of garlic in something ‘Very hot and Indian’, that resulted in most of the day being locked away ‘off-loading’. Personally, J’accuse the vodka fruit based punch!
The fact that the guest list is now close to three hundred is making me feel a little uneasy. I’m not a great crowd person at the best of times! I blame touring for that; So now the only way I can imagine this happening is like a gig! At least giving me a point of reference, and a place where perhaps I won’t feel quite so nervous.

Jem has asked that I do the music. That is lead the hymns, M.D. the band, arrange the songs, and rehearse and play during the signing of the register. Obligatory key changes abounding throughout, including the odd extra surprise here and there. Lovely tunes being sung; it’ll be a treat! I am still walking down the aisle with her, as is my right, preceded by eight of the loveliest bridesmaids, all with their respective places and cues carefully rehearsed.
I have the band, the singers, and everyone seems to be singing from the same hymn sheet with chord charts, demos and lyric sheets flying around ready for the final rehearsals.
The costumes have all been agreed, bought, tampered with, altered, and now reside in protective plastic sheets, bagged up and waiting for that communal reveal.
Today, the first wife discovered the shoes.under the pretext of finding me a Shirt. We took to the Algarve shopping centre, where, lurking in a shop temptingly called ‘Guess‘, she noticed a pair of ‘Rhythm & Blues’ begging to be bought. I was delighted of course and they, and she, looked very foxy indeed, despite the thought that I felt the shop had missed a trick or two by leaving out two very important words, as in: Guess (How Much?)

I’ve even started to think about the speech. This dreaded event that every father has to contemplate; deciding how far towards the bad taste jokes he can go before the booing, yawns and gasps are audible. It’s a tough shout but I have a few ideas. Needless to say, I feel that the instruments will be close to hand, even if it means just holding a guitar, ukulele or keyboard as a blue blanket. (I’ve even organised a soundcheck just in case!)

And yet, through all of this,both me and the first wife feel that we haven’t really done anything. We’re not involved in any of the other church arrangements, the catering, the transportation, the booze, the food, the general entertainment, the decor, nothing! It’s all been done. And it’s what we had always encouraged. It’s your day, you sort it!! And that is exactly what they have done….
Amazing! There’s still this weird feeling of the unknown about all of this happening on one short day, but every time I speak with anyone who has been invited, there is this distinct feeling that its like a massive Christmas Eve, with bouncing excitement and high squeaky voices.
I think I will bounce….. But more likely after I have spoken my few words and happily, gratefully and honestly, ‘squeaked’ those immortal two words when asked at the appropriate moment in the service. Those dads who have done it will know.
With a cast of so many invited and taking part, I am thinking of taking this production on the road after the first gig. ‘Le Cirque De Mariage’ ….. In a theatre near you this Autumn. Check press for details.

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